Love You More

God speaks my love language. Over the past month we’ve had a sweet exchange of affirming words, but what He did today blew me away. It started about a month ago. As is my habit, I was talking out loud with the Lord, telling Him what was heavy on my heart. It went something like this…

“Abba Papa, You told me to bring every need and every concern to You. You’ve also reminded me that I sometimes don’t have the things I want because I haven’t ask You for them. My life is so full of so many miraculous blessings, but there are times when I dream of building a home with someone special. I would love to serve alongside someone who loves serving You.

But, Lord, I love You more. More than I want those things, I want You. I’m going to continue to seek You first. In Your time and Your way, I know You will bring Your best into my life.”

Conversations like this continued for the next couple of weeks, with the main thought of “Love You More” settling the discussion and flooding me with peace.

A few weeks ago, I was in a Passion Drama about the last days of Christ’s life on earth. Watching in the wings offstage during the Garden of Gethsemane scene, I was brought to tears. Our Lord experienced such anguish and dread knowing what He had to face in the next hours of His life. While watching this scene, I heard a clear internal whisper, “Michelle, I love you more.”

He faced the beatings, the mocking, the cross, the separation, all because He loved me more than wanting His own way. For the next week, those words kept me company. Again, filling me with a beautiful peace and joy.

This morning I was having one of those heavy days – a bit of angst and struggling. I asked the Lord if I could hear from Him in a special way. I spent time with Him in the Word, in prayer, and in journaling. It was a sweet time, but my heart was still struggling.

I stopped by the Victory Home thrift store to pick up something for a friend. While there I wandered around a bit. A little black and white sign caught my eye. When I picked it up, it read, “Love you more.” That was my sign!

God speaks my love language. He knew I needed an affirming word this morning. He even put it in writing so I would hear it loud and clear.

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Are We There Yet?

Like that child in the back seat, I keep asking. Wondering. Waiting.

This journey has had so many twists and turns. We’ve had some really great stops along the way, and I’ve picked up some great treasures from our visits.

But sometimes (like today) I just want to throw off the seatbelt, grab God’s face between my hands, look Him straight in the eye and shout,
“ARE WE ALMOST THERE YET?

HOW MUCH LONGER?”

Today, He looked me straight in the eye and gently and firmly said,

“Yes, child, we are there.
We are there today,
We are there tomorrow,
We are there next week, next month, next year.

Every new lesson,
every special moment,
every challenge met,
I AM there with you.

It’s not about a destination,
but the journey,
the process,
the path.

So the answer is,
Yes, we are there
every day
every twist,
every turn.
I AM with you, guiding, leading, teaching you.

So sit back down, fasten your seatbelt, and be ready to ride, because I have some wonderful things in store for you…

Jeremiah 29:11 (NRSV)
“For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.”

photo credit to Paul Bourlet

The Wait

The wait.
How do I live well in the wait?
He spoke the promise.
I heard it.
It was His voice.
But the wait makes His voice fade.
I start to doubt.
I start to wonder.
I question.
Did I hear right?
Was that really for me?
It’s hard to hang on. I’m tired.
I want to move on.
Let go of it.
Flip the switch.
Forget it.
But I can’t.
It’s always there.
The promise. The desire of my heart.
Calling to me. Never letting me go.

So, I learn to turn my focus from the desired thing to doing the right thing.
I learn to focus on doing the Kingdom work.
Doing His work, His way.
He promises to take care of me.
He promises to take care of my needs.
I will guard my heart in the wait.
I will guard against doubt, anger, bitterness, hardness.
His time, His way
It is the best way
I will trust Him as I passionately wait.
It will be worth it.
And I will be transformed by the waiting.

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.” – Matthew 6:33 (NLT)

Dead Ends Are Not Always Dead Ends

One of our favorite ways to spend a day is down along the Coleman River in a remote part of our area. The one lane dirt road rambles along the river for miles. It travels past a few rustic campgrounds, fly fishermen, and children clamoring among the boulders. The road continues on through Tate City, population 32 (I’m not kidding). At the end of Tate City is a dead end. Or so it seems.
If you park your car and get out, you will find a trail. That trail leads to all kinds of wonderfulness.

It looked like a dead end.
It felt like a dead end.
It wasn’t until we got out and looked at it another way that we discovered our journey wasn’t over.
Dead ends are not always dead ends.

The job interview that ended in another landing the job.
The miscarriage.
Another doctor’s visit and still the unnamed illness.
The dissolved business.
The burned bridges brought on by the addiction.
The relationship that ended.

What seems to be a dead end is not always a dead end with God.
It is another step in the journey.
He doesn’t lead us somewhere to abandon us.
He is intentional.
When He guides us, every step has a purpose.
Even the painful, disappointing ones.
Many times we must be forced into considering another way of traveling, another perspective. It could be that He led you down the pathway so you could meet that person, develop that skill, or uncover that Truth.
Dead ends are not always dead ends when God is leading.
He promises us:

“I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.
I will advise you and watch over you.” Psalm 32:8

“The Lord will always make a way for His tired yet trusting children,
even if He must split the sea to do it.” -Robert Morgan

Lord, give us eyes to see, hears to hear and a heart that trusts you
even in the dark unknown.

m.bourlet 6.12.16